Beyond the Eluvian
by EmilyAlannah
Summary: Months after the fall of Corypheus, Inquisitor Lavellan struggles to remain strong. Restoring order to the world was never going to be easy, but things get more complicated. Nothing is ever as it seems.
1. Chapter 1: Suledin

"You've got to eat something."

Ellana looked up from the depths of her tankard, startled. She hadn't been expecting anyone to approach her.

"Thanks Varric, but I'm really not hungry," she replied.

She could see the concern in his face, but it mattered little to her. It'd been months, and she felt more and more hopeless every day. With a sigh, Varric sat down next to her.

"I know you miss him, but you can't go on like this," he pleaded.

"According to whom?" Ellana asked.

"Normally I'd agree that drowning your sorrows is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, but this time I'm inclined to side with Varric"

Dorian strutted over to their table. "Great," she thought, "more people to try and cheer me up." She knew her friends meant well, but she just couldn't bring herself to be happy. How could she? Solas had promised her answers. He promised that everything would be explained after the battle with Corypheus. How could he just disappear? She let out an exasperated sigh and downed what was left in her tankard.

"If you really want me to feel better, how about getting me more ale?" Ellana retorted.

"Not this time my friend," Dorian said sadly. He set a platter of food in front of her. "Please, just eat."

She reluctantly picked up a loaf of bread and took a bite. Normally it would have been delicious, but all food seemed to be tasteless anymore. She chewed thoughtfully, and was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice the tear rolling down her cheek. Varric reached up and wiped it away with a small, calloused hand. Dorian reached within his robes and handed her a silk handkerchief. Her face flushed, embarrassed by showing such weakness in front of her friends. She angrily wiped her eyes and stood up to return to the bar. Dorian gently grabbed her arm.

"He's not coming back," he said softly. "I know you miss him. I know you love him. But he's been gone for a long time now. You need to let go. You need to move on. You're an amazing woman and you deserve so much better than this."

"You know he's right," Varric chimed in. "Leliana's been looking for him nonstop and she's found no signs. Shit, if anyone in Thedas could track him down, it'd be her. If he doesn't respect you enough to come back and give you the explanation he promised, then the bastard doesn't deserve you."

"You're wrong. Both of you," she spat. "He has his reasons. Just because I don't know what they are doesn't make them any less valid. He'll come back. Just wait, you'll see."

She turned on her heel and marched angrily out of the tavern. They didn't understand. They would _never_ understand. She stomped through the keep, her mind reeling. It had been all she could do to keep up appearances to the nobles and common folk day after day. Her strength was too drained anymore to keep the façade up in front of her friends as well. She thought they'd be understanding, and for a while they were, but anymore they were accusatory. Saying that Solas was some heartless jerk, like they even knew anything about him. She couldn't stand to hear their slander, not when she had known the real him. Or at least, she thought she had.

Without realizing it, her feet had carried her to the rotunda. Ellana ran her fingers across the rough walls, looking up at the murals painted upon them. Solas's work. The walls had been bare when they'd arrived at Skyhold. He gradually filled every inch of them with vibrant color. The beautiful images stared down at her, a haunting reminder of all that she'd lost. She used to rush to the rotunda every day, skidding through the halls to greet her love in the morning. "Vhenan," he'd say with a smile as he looked up from his books. Now the hall was empty, his melodic voice long since silent. His books and papers still lay spread across the table. The workers had tried to clean them up on countless occasions, but Ellana always stopped them. She didn't have the heart to move his things. She pressed her forehead against the cool plaster of the wall, breathing deeply. Being here with all of her memories calmed her. Solas would hate to see her so upset. She knew that, even if it was his fault.

She grabbed one of the books off of the table and retired to her chambers. Ellana had flipped through the books many times, but it was hard to make heads or tails of them. They were mostly ancient texts containing within their pages the histories of every different civilization. She had caught Solas reading Varric's books a few times. Unlike Cassandra, he was never ashamed by it. He'd shrug and simply state that "The dwarf has a way with words."

She hadn't taken the book to read, however. It was more of a source of comfort to her, to have one of his belongings in her hands. She lay in her bed and clutched the book to her chest, allowing her tears to flow freely now. She wept and wept until all of her strength was gone, and eventually slipped into a fitful sleep.

In her dreams, Ellana crossed into the fade. Being a mage, she had always been warned not to do so. Her keeper had warned her that she could risk demonic possession if she was not cautious with her wanderings. It didn't matter to her now. She knew that somewhere, Solas had to be there. He loved the fade. She willed herself to return to Haven, as the two of them had so long ago. It felt much emptier without him there. She had come here many times, hoping that she could recreate that moment when they first kissed, but she was without success.

"Solas!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. No response. Again and again she shouted. As she did every night, Ellana began to wonder the fade, screaming his name to the heavens.

* * *

He crept silently into her room. Leliana's spies were of no concern to him now, not with his power returning. He simply had to will himself not to be seen and it would be so. The fire in the grand fireplace was low now, merely embers glowing in the darkness, and the room had grown cold. He walked to the fireplace, quietly placing another log into it. Flames leapt from his fingertips and lit it, filling the room with light and warmth. Hesitantly, he turned and walked toward her bed. There she laid, her face tear stained, blankets thrown off in a fit. He noticed one of his books in her arms, white knuckles gripping it tightly against her chest.

"Ma vhenan…" he sighed and shook his head. "Why must you do this to yourself?"

He pulled the blankets back up over her shoulders, shielding her from the cold. His heart ached as he looked down at her small, shivering form. She'd gotten thinner, a result of not eating no doubt. Dark circles ringed her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping well either. He reached up and brushed a strand of pale white-gold hair off of her face, his hand lingering against her cheek. Every night he came to watch over her. He saw how she wept, and tears fell from his own eyes as well. More than anything in the world, he wished to return to her. But his search for a way to free the gods did not go well. With his orb broken, he needed to find another way to unlock the ancient prison he'd put them in so long ago. Until he could undo the damage he'd caused the Elvhen, he could not return to her.

Even if he could, what would she think? How does one go about telling someone that they are truly an ancient elven god? Would she even believe him? She was clever, and more open minded than most. He liked to think she would. But she would no doubt be angry with him. Perhaps even angry enough not to forgive him for leaving. But as much as her tears broke his heart, they gave him hope that she still cared for him and would welcome him back with open arms. That hope got him through many lonely journeys searching for the answers he desperately needed.

The sun was beginning to rise over the mountains. He needed to leave, lest he be discovered. He leaned down and pressed his lips gently against her forehead.

"Ar lath, ma vhenan," he whispered, and then he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2: Halam'shivanas

Ellana awoke with a start. She could have sworn that she'd heard somebody in her room. A quick look around told her otherwise. The multicolored rays of the sunrise shone through the tall windows in her bedroom. It was dawn. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and found them puffy and crusted with salt. She must have been crying in her sleep again. She threw the covers off and swung her feet onto the cold, stone floor. Grabbing the book from her bed, she headed down to join the rest of the world.

As she entered the kitchen, the cook turned and curtseyed to her.

"Andaran atish'an Lady Inquisitor," she said.

"How many times must I tell you? You need not be so formal with me da'len," Ellana replied.

The small elven girl pressed a mug of hot tea into her hands, as she did every morning. Ellana looked down at the warm brown liquid and a small smile turned the corners of her mouth. Solas hated tea. Once she saw him drink it, and the face he pulled was one she would not soon forget. The thought made her laugh.

"Ma serannas," she said to the girl as she left the kitchen. She walked to the rotunda and gently placed the book back onto the table. A few of the other books had gathered a thin layer of dust on their leather covers. Ellana gently wiped them off with her sleeve. Unwilling to linger in the room, she opted to take a walk on the battlements.

As she stepped out of the door, the brisk morning air chilled her skin. She gripped her cup tightly in an attempt to warm her hands. The sun was higher in the sky now, the colors dissipating to clear blue. The mountains were bathed in a golden light. As much as she missed the warm forests, Ellana could not deny the mountains' beauty.

"Inquisitor, you're up early,"

The voice so startled her that she spilled tea down her front. She had assumed most of the keep would still be asleep. She looked up to see Commander Cullen stifling a laugh.

"I am so sorry my lady," he said. "I did not mean to frighten you."

He pulled a handkerchief from somewhere within his armor and handed it to her. She set her tea cup on the stone wall and tried to mop the tea off of her shirt.

"What's all this 'my lady' business? Cullen, we stopped the destruction of the world together. Just call me by name," she replied.

"Force of habit. Not to mention I'm relatively sure Josephine might shiv me with her pen if she caught me being informal."

"Well Josephine can take that up with me. I detest people treating me like I'm some deity or something. Especially my friends"

Cullen chuckled. Shortly after Ellana had joined the Inquisition he'd said a similar thing to her for calling him "Commander." The wind stirred his hair, the morning sun turning the curls perfect gold. Dorian frequently tried to set her up with Cullen. Admittedly, he was handsome. He had been a good friend and advisor to her, and there were times that she had considered it. But no. Her heart belonged to Solas. In another life perhaps, but not this one.

"I had hoped I would find you this morning. Rumor has it Varric and Dorian upset you last night," a look of concern crossed his face. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. They mean well, but they come on a bit strong at times."

He looked her in the eye and she had no doubt that he saw through her facade. She hadn't been fine for a long time, and he knew it. He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture he often did when he felt uncomfortable. For all his kindness, Cullen never could figure out how to handle delicate topics.

"Inquisitor, Ellana, I mean," he began, "I know that things have not been easy on you as of late. Between trying to set the world straight, the constant parade of nobles, and Solas leaving of course, I'm amazed you've managed to keep your sanity. We worry about you, all of us, and while Dorian and Varric don't always go about showing it properly, we all want what's best for you. So tell me the truth. Are you alright?"

She sighed and stared out into the mountains.

"No, not really," she replied. "I'm trying to be, but it's difficult. All these people think that I'm invincible, so I have to put on this show all the time and act like everything is fine. But it's not fine. And then everyone saying that Solas is never coming back… It's just not something I can accept."

"I understand," Cullen said. "I can't claim to know why Solas left or if he's coming back. But I will say this; I think he really genuinely loves you. You brought out a side of him that I never thought existed. I hope, for your sake, that he does come back. He would be a fool not to."

"I hope you're right," she said, her voice breaking slightly.

"You're not alone," he said as he pulled her into a friendly hug. "Do not forget that."

"Thank you, Cullen," she sniffed.

With one last concerned look, Cullen turned and walked back to his office, leaving her to her thoughts.

* * *

A gentle breeze ruffled his pure white fur, carrying with it scents of leaves, dirt, herbs, and all the wonderful things of the forest. He sniffed, enjoying his heightened sense of smell. It had been a long time since Solas had been able to take wolf form. With his power returning, he was gradually able to resume being who he was before his long slumber. Whether or not this was a good thing, he had yet to decide.

Immediately after departing Skyhold that morning, the Dread Wolf had sensed something wrong. He had absorbed Mythal's essence, had he not? So why could he sense her? And in the long abandoned ruins of his old village no less. This was no coincidence. Somehow, Mythal had tricked him. Yet the elves had named _him_ the trickster god. He smirked at the thought.

Solas padded through the ruins, his claws clicking against the ancient stones. He pressed his nose to the ground, searching for the source of this mystery. Though he could sense Mythal, he could not smell Flemeth. In fact, he thought he smelled—

"Did you think I would not notice you in your wolf form, Fen'Harel?"

A low growl rose from his throat.

"Morrigan," Solas snarled as he returned to his elven form. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Tis foolish to ask questions which one already knows the answer to," she replied.

"I should have known," he said. "Your mother gave me the power of the old god she ripped from your son and passed Mythal's spirit through the Eluvian to you. What I do not understand is why. Is your petty revenge fantasy really more important than restoring our people?"

"You would feel the same if you had been the one who was murdered, Dread Wolf," she said calmly. "He cannot be allowed to get away with this."

"Please old friend," he pleaded. "Your vengeance will destroy this world. Instead, help me set it right. Help me restore the elvhen to their former glory. Look how they wander the woods, proudly bearing slave markings and adhering to misremembered history. Is this truly what you wish for them?"

"That is your doing, my friend, not mine," Morrigan shook her head sadly. "No, justice must be done."

"I will not allow your plan to succeed. If you will not help me, so be it. The people need me, and I will not fail them again," he declared.

"So it has come to this? The two of us at odds with each other after all these years?" Morrigan sighed.

"I'm afraid so. Goodbye All-Mother," Solas said sadly. He returned to wolf form and ran off into the forest.

* * *

The nobles had been at it for hours. The hall at Skyhold was full to bursting with the highest ranking members of society from all over Fereldan and Orlais. There was much damaged caused by Corypheus's treachery and each noble seemed to think that they needed more aid than the rest. The Inquisition had done much to stabilize the land, but it was not all powerful. Though many of the nobles would feel otherwise.

Ellana sat in her chair at the head of the table, her chin resting on one hand and a pen twirling idly in the other. Josephine tried desperately to calm the nobles. Empress Celene angrily fluttered an ornate lace fan while muttering to Gaspard and Briala. King Alistair doodled absentmindedly on a bit of paper. For being such an important gathering, the only people who seemed to take it seriously were the ones not in charge of the proceedings. The Inquisitor met eyes with Cassandra who had taken a place leaning against the wall. The Seeker rolled her eyes. She never did have the patience for diplomacy. Cullen was in the seat in front of her, exasperatedly pinching the bridge of his nose. Reluctantly, Ellana stood up.

"Alright that's enough!" she shouted. "Sitting here squabbling isn't going to solve any of these problems! Look, I know you've all had damage to your lands. Trust me, we've _all _had damage. But the Inquisition cannot solve all of this and neither can your rulers. The world nearly ended people! Be glad that you're alive! We've closed every rift. We've sealed the holes where darkspawn were emerging. The Venatori completely disbanded after Corypheus's defeat. Nearly all of the refugees have been given the supplies that they need. We're doing all we can to rebuild, but we cannot fix everything. You will have to do some of this yourselves."

"But Inquisitor—"

"No. No more. You will continue receiving the aid we have been providing, but we cannot give anymore. We are at our limit. I call this meeting dismissed."

The mass of grumbling nobles gradually dispersed. King Alistair, clearly not paying attention, was still doodling on his bit of paper. Ellana approached him.

"Your Majesty? The meeting is over," she said.

"I know," he replied, "but look at this masterpiece!"

He proudly held up the scrap of paper. On it was a drawing of the Inquisitor chasing the nobles around with her glowing hand while Josephine came after her with a pen. He had drawn himself crawling under the table and tripping the nobles as they ran by.

"Good right? I should have become an artist instead of a Grey Warden," the King said.

Ellana could not help but laugh. The drawing ended up being passed around and soon every advisor of the Inquisition was doubled over with uproarious laughter.

"Look," he said, "for what it's worth, I think you're doing a great job. These petty nobles just don't know how to get out there and fix anything themselves so they'll whine and whine until someone else does it for them. A good effort though. If you hear from my wife, please tell her to come home. She's been chasing a cure for the Calling for long enough."

"Thank you your majesty, I will," she bowed.

Eager to get some fresh air, Ellana hurriedly left.


	3. Chapter 3: Fen'Harel

Deep snow crunched under her feet as she trudged through the mountains. The cold air bit at her face and stung her skin, but she didn't care. She was free. Free from the bothersome nobles, free from piteous stares of her friends, free from her own personal demons. There was this sense of adventure in the mountains that always comes when exploring somewhere one is unfamiliar with. Sure, Ellana had been in Skyhold for quite a while now, but she still wasn't used to it. Forests were most familiar with her from growing up roaming them with her clan. The snowy mountains were foreign and exciting.

Exhausted from her climb, she stopped to lean against a tree and rest. She breathed in the cool air and admired her surroundings. Every inch of the terrain was frosted with a light dusting of snow. It was beautiful. A glimmer of moment caught her eye further up the summit. A wolf of purest white stared at her curiously. She cautiously reached for her staff. The wolf didn't appear threatening, and they generally did not those who were armed, but it was always better to be cautious. The wolf tilted its head slightly, and then lay down in the snow with its head on its paws.

"Perhaps it would be best to head back down the valley away from the beast, just to be safe," Ellana thought to herself. She slowly descended the steep slope toward the winding river valley below. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she could see the wolf trailing her. Uneasy, she picked up speed. The ground was slick with slow and ice and hindered her descent, but if she could get to the river she could follow it back to Skyhold. Was the wolf still following? It was hard to tell. Its fur camouflaged it well in the snow. The river was close now, just a few feet further.

As she ran, Ellana looked around her for signs of the wolf. In her distraction, she failed to the patch of ice spread in front of her. She slid, her speed far too great to be able to stop. Her feet went out from under her as she tumbled down the hill, crashing through the thin ice of the river. The freezing water swallowed her. Thrashing and gasping, she tried desperately to free herself from the icy depths. The cold was too much; her limbs quickly became stiff and unresponsive. She could just see a figure rushing over. A man? With her last bit of strength she stretched her arm out toward him. As a strong hand grasped her own, the world went black.

* * *

"No! No, no no no," he cried as he pulled her from the icy water. She was unconscious. Her skin had taken on a sickly shade of blue. Hands shaking, he pressed his fingers to the side of her neck. Her pulse was faint, but it was there. Her robes were completely drenched in icy water. The fabric had already begun to freeze in the cold. If he did not do something, and quickly, she would freeze to death. He gently removed the stiff fabric and wrapped her in his own cloak.

"I'm so sorry, my love," Solas whispered as he lifted her limp body into his arms. "This is all my fault. I am so sorry."

He held her close as he carried her through the mountains. She was shaking violently now. He had to hurry. Just ahead he could see his cabin, carefully hidden in a crevice of the valley. Almost there. He walked more quickly and soon they were upon it. He kicked the door open and rushed inside.

Out of the wind, it was already considerably warmer inside the small building, but not warm enough. He laid her gently on his small bedroll and quickly covered her with every blanket he owned. Still she shivered. He put several logs into the fireplace and soon roaring flames filled it. He laid his hands gently on her face. Her skin was ice cold, though she began to look less blue. Her shivers had eased slightly, though not ceased all together. With no other options, he lay down next to her and wrapped her blanket wrapped body in his arms. He buried his face in her cold, damp hair and whispered "It's going to be alright, vhenan. I am here. Everything is going to be fine," as he too drifted off to sleep.

How could it possibly be so cold? Ellana was reasonably sure she had never felt so cold in her life. She remembered falling through the ice and then, nothing. She felt constricted. There were at least seven blankets wrapped around her. Where was she? She groaned as she tried to open her eyes. Could eyelids get stiff? It sure felt like it. She felt a gentle hand brush across her cheek.

"Shhh, it's alright," a familiar voice said. "You need rest. Go back to sleep."

She wanted to protest, but had no strength to do so. Before she knew it, she was once again enveloped by the velvety blackness of sleep.

* * *

This was never how things were supposed to happen. He was supposed to free the gods, restore the Elvhen, and then return to her. That was the plan. He made a terrible mistake, yet again. He had followed her too closely. If he had kept his distance, she would not have gotten frightened, ran, and fallen through the ice. He let his emotions get in the way and it nearly cost Ellana her life.

He sighed. It wasn't very often things caught him by surprise. For now, she was still asleep. He had time to think of a new plan. Should he take her back to Skyhold? He could sneak her into the infirmary and then leave. But he could not sneak her in as a wolf, and people would recognize him as an elf. Not to mention that would mean taking her back out into the cold, a chance he was not willing to take. No, she had to stay here. This would mean that she would see him eventually, and he would owe her a great deal of explanation much earlier than he had anticipated.

"Perhaps it is fate," he thought to himself.

There was little he could do now. The best way he could prepare would be to think of how he could explain himself, and hope for her forgiveness. His thoughts raced, trying to think of how to tell her the truth. He turned his gaze to his love, peacefully asleep in front of the fire. Some of the color had begun to return to her face. With a sigh, he stepped outside to get some fresh air, closing the door gently behind him.

* * *

So many blankets. Her bed never had this many blankets on it. Where did they come from? Ellana blinked the sleep from her eyes. Where was she? This certainly wasn't Skyhold. It was a small cabin, just a single room. She lay in front of a fireplace, a roaring fire burning inside. Hanging from the mantel were some clothes. With a start, she realized that they were her clothes. How did they end up off of her body? What happened? She quickly stood up and put them on. They were warm and dry from the fire. She took another look around the cabin, trying to piece together what had happened. There was a small wooden table with two chairs in the corner. The table was strewn with papers and books. It all seemed so familiar.

The door slowly creaked open and a gust of cold wind rushed into the room. In stepped the one person she wanted to see more than anything in the world.

"Ah, you are awa—" Solas started to say but was interrupted as Ellana crossed the room in a single bound and flung her arms around his neck. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she buried her face in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

"Where have you been?" Ellana cried. "Leliana sent her best people to look for you, I searched every inch of the fade every single night, but no one could find you! How could you do that? How could you just vanish?"

"I know," he said softly. "I am so sorry, vhenan. I abandoned you. If you never wish to see me again, I would understand."

"Are you kidding me?" she exclaimed, pulling back slightly. "That is the absolute last thing I want! You've been gone for _months,_ Solas. I never want to let you out of my sight again."

A look of slight confusion passed over his face.

"So, you are not angry with me?" he said.

Ellana's face softened, some of the excitement replaced by sadness.

"No, of course I'm not," she said softly. "I knew you had your reasons. I just wish you would have told me what they were. Everyone said you were never coming back, that I needed to move on. I knew you would return though. I just don't understand. I mean you vanished right after the battle. You never explained things like you promised you would. I don't even know where we stand right now. I mean, you left me. But yet you still call me 'vhenan.' What's going on, Solas?"

He reached up and wiped the tears from her face, his fingers lingering against the damp skin. He sighed and walked past her and began to idly poke at the fire. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally spoke.

"I never truly left, you know," he began. "I returned every night to check on you, make sure you were safe. Occasionally I would follow you during your travels. It was torture not to come back. But as you said, there are reasons why I could not. I still should not have, but had I not, you would be dead."

"It was you," Ellana murmured. "You rescued me."

She could feel her face begin to flush as she realized what that meant.

"Why was I naked when I woke up?" she cried. Solas was clearly taken aback. He chuckled.

"Seriously?" he asked. "Would you have preferred I let you freeze to death?"

"Well, no but…naked…" she stammered. He smiled and shook his head.

"Honestly, vhenan. You act as if this is a new occurrence. It matters little. You are alive. That is the important part."

He suddenly grew deathly serious.

"I promised you that all would be explained. And so it shall. You may want to sit down."

He steered her gently to one of the chairs in the corner and sat opposite her in the other one. He took her hands in his and looked up into her eyes.

"I had intended to tell you sooner, but I did not have the nerve," he began. "You know that I possess extensive knowledge of elven history and magic. I had told you that I had learned much through my explorations of the fade. That is only partially true. I was not completely forthcoming with my identity. I am Solas, that much is true, but I am also known by another name. One that you are likely familiar with."

"What is it?" Ellana asked.

"Fen'Harel. I am the Dread Wolf."


	4. Chapter 4: Ir Abelas

"The Dr…" Ellana trailed off.

It was like being slapped across the face. She was vaguely aware of Solas searching her face for signs of a reaction, and even more aware of how foolish she looked standing there with her mouth agape. How exactly is one supposed to react in these situations? The Dread Wolf. It seemed impossible and yet, it made perfect sense. If Asha'bellanar could be Mythal, was it really so farfetched to think Solas could be Fen'Harel? It certainly explained his extensive knowledge of, well, everything. The stories didn't match up with Solas at all though. Fen'Harel was supposed to be cruel. Dalish mothers told their children tales of his exploits to frighten them into behaving.

That's when it hit her. She had been wildly disrespectful to a god, the trickster god no less. He could kill her where she stood with barely a thought. Her Keeper was probably turning in her grave knowing the things that she had said to a member of the Elvhen pantheon. She managed to regain her composure enough to do what any normal mortal would do when meeting a god.

* * *

He wasn't sure how Ellana would react when he told her his identity, but he certainly wasn't expecting this. After several minutes of slack-jawed staring, she dropped to her knees and bowed her head. She seemed to be making every effort not to look at him. Her posture was tense, scared even. The thought of her being frightened of him cut him like a knife.

"Ir abelas Fen'Harel," she began. "I showed you great disrespect and I ask for your mercy."

He could not believe it. Here was the woman who saved the world from certain destruction and she was asking him for mercy. He thought she might be angry with him, that he may receive a well-deserved slap across the face. The possibility of her not believing him was one he strongly believed could happen as well. But this? She was his best friend, his lover, the strongest person he had ever known and she was so afraid of him that she was asking for mercy. It was unbearable.

"Your apology is unnecessary," Solas said. He reached down to brush a strand of hair from her eyes and tilted her face up to look at him. "You need never bow to me."

She stood up cautiously, confusion and hesitation written all over her face. She looked like she didn't know what to do now and honestly, neither did he. Solas sighed and walked over to stand by the fire, his head in his hands. This is exactly what he had been afraid of, why he had backed out of revealing his identity to her by the lake so long ago. Things would never be the same between them now. How could they? Ellana stood next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him, burying his face in her hair.

"I still love you anyway," she murmured into his shoulder.

"I would have given up everything for you," Solas replied. "My immortality, my responsibilities, my goals, I would have gladly walked away from all of it to stay with you. I almost did. The day that I removed your vallaslin I was going to tell you the truth. I was going to give up my godhood so that we could have a normal life together. I was perfectly happy to do that, but I cannot change what I am. I would have been lying to myself and to you. The people need me. I am the only hope the elves have of ever reclaiming their history. As much as it killed me to do so, I had to leave. I am so sorry ma vhenan. I never wanted to hurt you."

"You could have just told me. It's hardly the craziest thing that's happend," she said pulling away from him slightly. "I would have believed you, like I believe you now, and I would've understood why you needed to leave. You're the last god our people have; of course you have to help them. It just would have been nice to understand why you couldn't stay. I mean, you did promise me an explanation after the battle. Technically now is after the battle but this isn't what I had in mind."

Solas chuckled slightly. "I know," he said, "and I am sorry for running off without telling you. I was very upset and I acted irrationally. I am not used to situations such as these. I have always been a loner. You know the stories well, so you know that I was never particularly welcomed among the people, the gods, or the Forgotten Ones. They all barely tolerated my presence. I had many spirit friends but those friendships are vastly different and rarely have these sorts of complications. When it comes to matters of the heart, I'm afraid I am relatively inexperienced."

"No way," Ellana exclaimed. "There is no way you've gone all this time without ever having been in a relationship."

"Is it truly so hard to believe? Yes there were some…instances, but nothing that I would consider a true relationship. Such tends to be the case when you spend most of your time actively avoiding people. I have been alive for a very long time, but in all of my time on this earth I have never found someone as remarkable as you. Being with the Inquisition, with you, for once I felt like I was welcome, like I belonged. It was no easy decision for me to leave, I assure you."

"The Inquisition… They'll be looking for me you know. I bet Cassandra is tearing Skyhold apart as we speak," she said.

"I am aware of that. I will take you back soon, I promise," Solas replied.

"You'll be coming back with me right?" Ellana asked, panic creeping into her voice.

Solas shifted uncomfortably. "Would they allow me to come back? I imagine they are none too happy with me after how I left…"

"I'm the Inquisitor. I'll make them be ok with it," she smirked. "Besides, I'm not going to give you the chance to run off again."

"I would not dare to," he smiled.

He quickly brushed his lips across hers and began to gather his things for the journey to Skyhold. They set off from the little cabin, trudging through the snow. As they walked, Solas took her hand in his own and for the first time in a very long while, he was happy.


	5. Chapter 5: Elvhenan

"Well, shit," Ellana said as they came upon the madhouse that was Skyhold. She could see several search parties throughout the valley. There were lookouts spanned across the battlements. She could hear Cassandra and Cullen barking orders. If she didn't know better, she'd think they were going to war. Solas squeezed her hand reassuringly as they neared the gates.

"Oi! There she is! And she brought her arsehat eggheaded boyfriend back with her!" Sera yelled from the battlements. "Where in the hell have you been?"

"It's a long story, Sera. Gather everyone in the war room. We have a lot to talk about," Ellana replied.

They marched quickly through the halls to a mixture of reactions. Many people clapped Solas on the shoulder and welcomed him back. Others made snide remarks and sneered at him. Those people were quickly silenced by a well-placed glare from their illustrious leader. Before long they arrived in the war room and casually waited for everyone to arrive. After every member of her inner circle was there, Ellana had the heavy doors shut.

"So, what's going on boss?" Iron Bull asked.

"How could you just disappear on us like that? And then you bring him back with you? After all the trouble he caused? What were you thinking?" Cassandra exclaimed.

The room erupted into a chorus of shouts. Everyone was yelling about whether or not Solas should be allowed to come back, where the Inquisitor had been, why they'd been gathered, one argument after another. Cole tried in vain to gently break up the arguments. Ellana was getting visibly angry. Solas did his best to calm her down, but it was no use. There she was, finally happy, and her friends were all arguing over it. She'd had enough.

"WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT IT?" She yelled as she climbed on top of the war table. "I've been back for all of ten minutes and you're all turning on each other like a pack of hungry dogs just because Solas is with me? It's ridiculous. I'm happy he's back and you should all be happy too. He's staying. That's an order. Anyone who has a problem with it can take it up with me personally. Now if you could all keep your traps shut we can tell you why we have you gathered here."

Everyone in the room hung their heads in shame. Trying to put the world back together had been stressful on everyone. They'd been very near their breaking point for weeks and having Solas walk in just made things worse. Solas helped Ellana off the table and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"I am pleased to see all of you again," Solas began awkwardly. "I apologize for the disappearance of your leader. She had gone out for a walk and fell through some ice. Luckily I was nearby and managed to save her, but she had to recover before we could make the journey back. I apologize for worrying you."

A grumbled response of "It's alright" arose from around the room.

"So Chuckles, where have you been?" Varric asked. "We're glad you're back and clearly you and the Inquisitor have patched things up, that's none of our business, but where were you all this time before she found you? I thought we were friends. We all, except for maybe Sera, thought you were our friend but you just up and left all of us. Why?"

"It's complicated. I am unsure how to explain," Solas replied. He shared a worried look with Ellana before whispering to her, "How do we tell them?"

She chewed her lip, trying to think of what to say.

"Ok, so you know how we came across Flemeth or Asha'bellanar or the Witch of the Wilds or whatever you want to call her, and then it turned out that she is the elven goddess Mythal?"

Her friends all shared looks of confusion as they nodded their heads.

"Well," she continued, "Solas is also one of the elven gods. The only other one who isn't sealed away. Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf."

To prove her point Solas then transformed into his wolf form and back. A shocked silence had fallen across the room. Everyone stood there, stunned, for what seemed like an eternity.

"You have got to be shitting me," Iron Bull finally broke the silence. "We had a _god _with us _this whole time_ and we _still_ had that much trouble saving the world? Why didn't you just crush Corypheus right from the beginning?

"It is not as simple as it seems," Solas said. "You may want to sit down; this is going to be quite a long story.

"Once, the Elven Empire spanned all of Thedas. The Elvhen were powerful, immortal beings. There was no veil as we know it today, and magic was thick in the air. Every person was a mage, and there were intricate spells cast and wrapped around, tied to other spells, making up the very fabric of our being. We were peaceful and prosperous, content to practice our trades and worship our gods. This worked well for a time, but the gods began to have disagreements. They would fight with each other and when the gods fought, the people got pulled into the conflict. Civil war erupted all over the empire. Arlathan fell. I tricked the gods and the Forgotten Ones, our ancient, malevolent gods, into being trapped in a realm that is in between here and the fade. This is where the eluvian network is located. I had hoped that by sealing away the gods the civil wars would end and the Elvhen would have peace. Exhausted from the power exerted to do this, I went into a very long sleep. Little did I know, the Tevinter Imperium would come along shortly after this and destroy what was left of our empire. Without their gods to help them, the Elvhen fell. You are all aware of what happened after that. I awoke a few months before the destruction of the conclave to find that I had not only failed my people, but had also inadvertently aided in their destruction. Desperate to restore the gods and helped my people, I attempted to power my focus and unlock the prison. Unfortunately, I was too weak after my long slumber to be able to do so. I sought out another way to restore its power. That was when I found Corypheus. I allowed him to come into possession of my orb, knowing that he would power it, attempt to use it, and likely die in the process. I intended to then retrieve my orb and use it to free the gods. That plan backfired when the Inquisitor interrupted his ritual. It tore apart the veil, placed the anchor in the Inquisitor's hand, and destroyed the conclave. Corypheus escaped with the focus. It was broken during the battle, so I had to find another way to free the elven gods. I left the Inquisition to seek out Mythal and ask for her help. She offered to give me her power, but instead gave me the power of the old god which she took from her grandson. Flemeth sent the essence of Mythal through an eluvian to Morrigan. Flemeth is now dead, and Morrigan contains Mythal. This brings us to the reason I am telling any of you this. Mythal was murdered just before I trapped the gods. That is why she is free. She intends to release the gods so that she can take revenge on her killer. To do so would start a war between the gods. Just their disagreements caused the fall of the Elvhen Empire, so imagine what a war between them would cause. It could destroy the world as we know it. I need the Inquisition's help to stop her."

Rather than turn into an uproar as Ellana expected, it stayed eerily quiet. There were a great many disturbing things about Solas's story. The fact that he had inadvertently caused the breach, that the gods were real, that one of them was hell bent on revenge even if it meant destroying the world, a world they had only just saved. It was a lot to take in, even having heard the story earlier on their journey to Skyhold. She could only imagine how hard it was for everyone else to understand.

"What do you need us to do?" Cullen asked quietly.

"Unfortunately this is not a fight that can be won with mere strength and forces alone, Commander," Solas said. "Gods cannot be killed, as evidence by Mythal's existence. Much like spirits, they come back after a time. I still intend to free the gods, that much is true. The elven people desperately need them. Mythal will not stop until she has her revenge, however, so I believe the only way to stop her and free the gods is to let them out and then trap her in their prison."

"But how can we even open their prison at all if your focus is broken?" Dorian chimed in.

"We could find another focus, though there may be a faster solution. I believe the Inquisitor can help," Solas replied. He picked up Ellana's left hand and ran his thumb across the mark on her palm. "The mark was caused by the focus. When you picked it up, the anchor was placed in your hand. Because of this, you now have some of the power of the orb. I believe you may be able to unlock the eluvian with it."

"Well, it seems like time is of the essence," Josephine said. "Shall we get started?"


End file.
